on having a life and hobbies as an unschooling parent
My favorite season is Spring, but really I mean Texas Spring...which shows up {sometimes} as 67° days in January.
Sometimes we start seeds for our garden early--this first batch is really still winter garden things. Once these get big enough to go outside, then I'll start tomatoes and cukes and other "summery" veggies.
The kids do not love gardening or plants...but also it's become part of the backdrop of our life.
Weeding beds, going outside to grab cilantro or green onions as we’re cooking a meal, endless basil pesto in the freezer.
This is just what we do. Or maybe, who we are.
The 18 year old does have a collection of houseplants that she names people-names like Mike and Fred, and she vigilantly protects them from the cats.
The younger kids do enjoy when we have garden lettuce, cucumbers, cherry tomatoes and sugar snap peas to munch on.
It's fun for them to go outside and find snacks...although I never truly have any idea how much we grow because they eat so much before I ever see it!
ANYWAY...my point is, this is A Family Thing that we all participate in, in varying ways.
Growing food really started as my husband's thing, and it's grown into my thing as well.
It's a thing that takes up space in our lives, it gets prioritized.
Sometimes the kids don't love it when we say,
"Hey, we need to go outside and transplant these seedlings, can you help?"
But they do help, usually. And even when they don't, they are still immersed in plants and gardening ideas simply by having us as parents.
My 9 year old could explain composting to you quite well, for example.
He’ll tell you that permaculture means Earth care, people care, and return of surplus as if it’s common sense (I wish it were…).
It's passive learning.
Look, I know we're busy as parents...too busy.
I know all too well how it feels to be so lost in the hustle that you lose sight of WHY you're hustling in the first place.
It's truly a balancing act, because I genuinely love what I do for “work” … creating natural birth resources really lights me up!
But even my paid endeavors are really about my family - and myself.
I know how hard it is to be present with your family when you're stressed, busy, and endlessly lost in the hustle…but—
These babies grow up.
And despite what the media or somebody’s IG reels might tell you, your kids don't care as much about expensive + fancy trips as much as they care about the {really} small stuff.
Like your presence and un-distracted attention (srsly, put the phone down, even if you’ve seen this movie before).
Like watercolor painting outside on the front porch together.
Like whether or not you made eye contact with them, while they were telling you their newest story about what they did in Minecraft.
So take time to cuddle on the couch. Read the subtitles of foreign films out loud. Make things together.
Whether it’s down to your hobbies or your work, let your kids help you, so they can see part of what you do and learn why it lights you up.
There are so many skills that kids pick up almost by osmosis...and they are all simply byproducts of living a rich and full life - a curious life.
So, find your thing. And share it with your kids.
Maybe your thing is guitar music. Or art history. Or woodcarving. Or needlepoint.
Maybe you used to have a thing, but you've let it fall away over the years, thinking you've no time for frivolous pursuits now that you're A Homeschooling Parent.
Please, don't do that.
Your kids will benefit in a plethora of ways from having parents who have a Thing that they're interested in.
If you don't currently have a thing, and now you've added "find a new thing!" on your lengthy to-do list, and that feels like work, too...well, take a break and be gentle with yourself, first.
Give yourself time to think back to what you loved as a child...what you could spend hours doing and delighting in.
Explore how you can rekindle some of that lightheartedness in your regular life as a parent.
It will help your kids immensely to see you as a creative mind, in your own right.
You’re their role model for adulthood - so it’s encumbent upon you to live juicy (as SARK says). You are a much better parent when you focus on more than just parenting!
Don't lose your creativity, and don't sacrifice your joy for the hustle.
We’ve been trained by modern society to see our children as tiny adversaries in our adult-oriented quest of living a rich, fulfilling life - and I think that’s bullshit.
Include them, create a world of interest and take them with you.
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