the alchemy of my hospital stay

It’s October now - and the past 2+ weeks have been a strange and disorienting blur, culminating in my having a 3-day stay at the hospital, battling sepsis, and needing a blood transfusion.

This has been an incredible shattering of so many things, and now, I’m starting the process of rebuilding anew…sorting out what’s useful from all the broken parts.

Mid-September: I'd been working on my free Human Design for Families workshop, and after a lot of hyper-focused time creating, I had a great time offering the workshop!

My plan was to expand this into a larger, paid course…but my energy was so low, I needed to rest.

That weekend, I noticed a flare-up…a small discomfort in the same place as an old infection from over a year prior. That time, it was an annoyance that lasted a few days and went away on its own, with a few extra immune boosting measures. So, this time, I assumed it would be the same.

I was already feeling worn out, and figured rest was just an appropriate response.

The following week I tried to muddle thru with normal things, and at one point, I woke up with words in my mind - the way you do when you’re half in, half out of the dreamspace. I wrote them down:

you can tolerate an immense amount of discomfort. this is not your superpower.

I found this vaguely ominous…but didn’t take it as the sign it was meant to be.