Back in 2010/2011, our world began to experience a split in consciousness - a split between a new, high-frequency light paradigm, and the blended light-and-darkness of our current world.
We are still going thru it now, and if you find yourself feeling like you’re hoping, waiting, and envisioning a future that’s free of oppression, victim/aggressor dynamics, and fear-as-currency…then you know what I’m talking about, and you also know what you’ve chosen to experience (even if it’s challenging to hold the frequency sometimes!).
According to mystics like
and others, the human collective has chosen a more gentle experience of the split, one that will take 3 generations to complete. It’s not a punishment, heaven-or-hell type of thing - it’s not about right and wrong, good or bad - but simply a choice of what experiences you wish to have and participate in.Inelia has also said that the groundwork for what kind of experiences we are currently having, in this present moment, were seeded back in 2010/2011, when the split first began.
For me, that time of my life was filled with chaos and change.
My Saturn return happened in October 2010.
Right afterward (January 2011), we made the fateful decision to combine households with my father, and one day later - my mother died. Then in April, I found out I was expecting my 5th baby.
In astrology terms, your Saturn return is literally when the planet Saturn completes its 28-ish year orbit around the sun, to return to the place it was in the skies when we were born. Saturn is the planet of rules and responsibility, discipline and values - and it can sometimes bring about a harsh reality-check.
In Human Design terms, we can get a detailed visual representation of what our Saturn return is likely to bring up for us by looking at the combination of our natal chart and the chart generated from the exact date of our Saturn return.
Here’s mine:
On the left, you see my natal chart, a self-projected Projector on the cross of Obscuration. On the right, you see a chart with the planetary transits that were active on October 17, 2010 - the exact date of my Saturn return.
The middle chart combines the two, and shows all the activations that my Saturn return brought forth for me:
I know that’s a LOT of data coming at us…but here’s a bullet-point summary of what I see in this combination chart:
- a bunch of defined Centers, a bunch of personal Channels, and a Triple Split definition, which indicates a need for variety and a fast pace in relationships and environments.
- the 4/6 profile of the transit chart (instead of my natal 6/2) indicates growth and learning around people, friendships, and relationships will be important
- the Reflector theme of the transit chart indicates that patience, timing, and the ability to see things from a bird’s eye view will be important at this time
- my natal Incarnation cross gates are coloured by the lens of gates 32 and 42, present in the transit chart’s Right Angle Cross of the Maya. That cross puts emphasis on seeking a detailed understanding of one’s past and family stories (oof)
- Gene Key 32 is about ancestors, tradition, and understanding our past. Its shadow is failure, which can be defined as “being a victim of your idea of success”
- In my natal chart, 32 is one of my only double-defined gates, and it’s in the planet of Pluto, who deals with rebirth, transformation, and journeying to the underworld and back
- My natal right-facing Environment variable/arrow turns left, indicating a stability and consistency of place (which has felt stifling to me)
- My natal left-facing Awareness variable/arrow turns right, indicating an openness to new understandings, and a letting-go of structured, linear education styles
- My natal left-facing Perspective variable/arrow also turns right, indicating that my manifestation capabilities will thrive when I can dial in High-Frequency feelings and states of joy, and having specific, tangible lists of goals won’t always be necessary
When I realized that the beginning of the global split in consciousness coincided with my personal Saturn return, I wanted to dig deeper into what was happening in my life back then.
A big part of my design is about uncovering hidden truths, and that often comes about by my willingness to explore the past with a keen eye.
Here is something I wrote in reflection on the shifting sands of my friendships, back in June 2010:
More and more, it's becoming clear that certain people and places I once thought of as uplifting, peaceful, and resonating at a high vibration, are actually not so much. It's not that the situation or the people in it changed, so much as *I* have. And so my window of perception has shifted accordingly.
What I used to to perceive as accepting, open, loving, etc, now feels a bit stifled, reticent. Many years ago, I would have said that that was absurd, that either one or the other could be true, and that we would have to somehow peg down the objective "facts" about whether or not this was so.
I was still stuck in objective-universe-paradigm, so, rather than trusting my intuition or my own feelings, I turned to others for validation about such things:
If others said X was good, then it must be...and my feelings were just weird, or wrong, and so should be suppressed.
Yet - I often had feelings/intuition that diverged wildly from the group mentality's "status quo"...and still do.
With regard to our current circle of friends, I used to feel like I'd found solace and sameness, but as time went on, I started getting clues that I was the "odd one out". At first they were quite subtle, small clues, but nevertheless, they were little things that bothered me a lot. Again, I said to myself, "well, there is this one strange thing, but in light of the total picture, it's all good..."
Well, it's become rather unavoidably clear that it's not that way…not for me, not anymore.Subjective reality is the mode of perception that makes the most sense, which of course allows both positions/perceptions to be true and real.
These people and situations are not inherently wrong or bad or mistaken--but they absolutely don't resonate with me any longer, and that's all I need to know.
I have outgrown this situation, and am ready and willing to move forward, even if that means leaving certain people behind--including some that I care about.
So it's a bit sobering to think that you've been wasting your time, wallowing at a negative vibration in spite of your intentions for growth...but then, the expanding personal growth is what helped me to recognize the negative vibrations for what they are.
Wow - I suppose I was right where I needed to be at that time, waking up to shifts in my friendship dynamics, noting changes in mySelf with curiosity instead of criticism.
I was also just starting to notice that I didn’t need to give my power away to others, and could trust my own inner resonance (or lack thereof).
All these years later, both the collective split in humanity, and my personal experience of my Saturn return, both make a lot of sense thru these lenses.
If you’ve gotten this far, thanks for reading! Does the experience of the collective split resonate with you? Here’s more on that topic from Inelia Benz.
If you’re curious about your Saturn return, Incarnation Cross, or other aspects of your Human Design chart, I invite you to book a reading with me!